My good buddy Joe sent me an email tonight. We’ve both been too busy to fish for a while, and though we have an outing planned for later this week (finally), he’s Jonesin’. So he takes a walk behind his house to cast for some bass and panfish, and there — tailing just inches off his manicured lawn — is a huge, Nessie-esque creature. He grabbed his camera and snapped this shot. Seems the tail belongs to an enormous carp. Now, Joe wouldn’t usually get excited about a fish in a neighborhood pond, especially one with a floppy mouth that slurps grass, but apparently this beast looked and acted so much like a mondo redfish that Joe’s online tonight searching for carp fly patterns. As he so eloquently puts it: “I’m thinkin’ some kinda moss-lookin’ fly. Weedless. Drop it near the fish. Then barely twitch along the bottom to resemble a piece of ground cover that came loose and is drifting…Some kinda olive-greenish-shat-looking-maribou might just do the trick.” Fantastic, I tell you.

Best of luck with Carpzilla, Big Joe. And just so we’re clear: I’ll be the first to laugh if that armor-plated scum-sucker blazes through your backing and takes your tattered manhood into the murky depths. Just sayin’.

Footnote: I’ll be sure to keep everyone up to date on this epic confrontation.

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